by Raindrop Administrator | Apr 3, 2015 | Therapy
Thoughts on success in therapy, in supervision and in training
The beauty of training in therapy is the feedback we receive; the evaluations we collect at the end of the training day tell it all. Since engaging in loads of training over the past few months, I have received some positive feedback in what makes my training unique. It’s tempting to compare my practice with other talented trainers in the field, but I am seeing more and more each person has a unique gift to bring.
Even though this is feedback I’ve received recently, I believe it is valuable in many professions and walks of life.
That is: “we feel your heart in the work you do”.
People can feel authenticity, and they can feel your accessibility. When you have the emotional space and time to combine the two, your clients, supervisees or trainees feel it in the way you care for them. This builds alliance and allows you to better hear what they need to learn.
This is not something I demonstrate in each session I spend with people.
So what makes the difference? I believe it is knowing what I’m passionate about and focusing my work on these areas. Human-ness is also important to me. When the people I am around open their hearts to me, I feel them and I want to do everything that I can to help them.
I realize clients are more likely to open up when I am available and open first. Demonstrating this breeds success. When I am real and honest in what I can teach, and am open about the things I can’t, this is authentic and that’s what people love to see and feel.
by Raindrop Administrator | Nov 9, 2013 | Couples in Therapy, Emotions, Therapy
How Emotionally mature do you consider yourself to be?
PROVE IT! Answer these questions:
IS THIS TRUE:
I notice an emotion when it shows up/ I know when I am feeling something
I use my feelings to motivate action
I see my impact on others
I think about how others view my responses
When I decide what to do, I am aware of how it will effect my relationships
OR IS THIS TRUE:
My partner understands my emotion better than I do
My emotions often gets the better of me in arguments
My emotions are so strong that they are overwhelming
I often react rather than respond to my partner
I don’t have clue why my partner reacts so strongly to what I say or do
I don’t know what I feel
I don’t know why my arguments end in a worse place than where they started
Achieving emotional awareness can be a challenging but beneficial aspect of relationships. Consider working on your emotional awareness and maturity. Doing so should give you greater satisfaction and flexibility in your relationships!
Except from EFT for Dummies, Bradley and Furrow, 2013
Image via http://www.interchanges.com/emotional-maturity-success-hack/
by Raindrop Administrator | Nov 16, 2009 | Couples in Therapy, Therapy
I witnessed the power of a marital relationship, even though it was a marriage that has been struggling. I was sitting with a husband who had an abusive past. He is not able to cry about it even though he has so much sadness caught up inside. Instead the sadness comes out in anger and hurts those around him. I worked with him for a good 20 minutes to try to get him to feel the hurt. I couldn’t.
As he was sitting and recounting some of his childhood history his wife began to weep. He turned and asked her what she was crying about, and she said she was crying for him, for his pain. As she wept, he began to weep too.
Finally we were able to access his sadness, and he was then able to share it with her and let some of it go.
I love it when loved ones join us in therapy, it is so much more powerful.
Image via Thomas Barwick-Taxi/Getty Images
by Raindrop Administrator | Jul 22, 2009 | Emotions, Therapy
A young woman said something so profound to me today. She told me that what she loves about therapy is that the therapist doesn’t know any of her friends or colleagues. This allows her to talk about her life and her experiences freely. If the therapist had known her environment, then she would have felt like she was “gossiping”.
You see the difference is that you don’t just come to therapy to gossip or talk for the sake of talking. You come to talk so that you can learn about yourself, your responses and so that you can work on ways to change. So you are probably not gossiping when you’re in therapy, and if you are – find a friend instead and stop paying the therapist 🙂
